I've come to the conclusion that I have some of the most amazing friends. I've been uploading my pictures to an online photo album, and am overwhelmed by the memories of good times. We've had a lot of laughs together, a lot of tears, and a whole lotta love! I'm seriously so blessed to have such amazing people in my life.
As I sat in my one on one time with Jane this afternoon, I was asked a simple question. "How are you getting along with your housemates?" My immediate answer was that everything was great. I think my housemates are wonderful, and so far so good. But as my thought process started to shift, I began to realize something. I've been holding back, not opening myself up to my housemates. I haven't given them a chance to really get to know me. I haven't talked about my past, or my story, or my dreams for the future with any of them. I thought my life was an open book, but apparently I was wrong. I've always thought I wore my heart on my sleeve. But no one here really knows me. So then I asked myself why?
I've come to the conclusion that I'm afraid. I'm afraid to let people in, to see the real me. Why? Because it feels like in doing so, I'm trying to replace the amazing friends I have at home. Like somehow, I'm betraying the intimate relationships I have with people at home by allowing myself to become intimate with anyone here. And looking at that, I feel absolutely ridiculous. I know that there is no possible way for ANYONE to replace the friends I already have. I won't love them any less, nor will they love me any less. Friendships are a vital part of my life, but I can make some room for new ones. Being here for 8 months, I could potentially shut people out, only let them see the surface. I'll be missing out though. Missing out on some incredible relationships. And that's not something I'm willing to do.
I love my friends at home. Nothing will change that. But here, in England, at the Oakes, I'm going to allow myself to make some new friends. Friends that will hopefully be around for a lifetime.
Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times..." And I intend on having friends, and being a friend that loves at all times. With the Oakes team, my crew back home, and whoever else God puts in my path.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Awww...Kel...thanks to my own travels across the country, I have gained many wonderful friends through the years. Never be fearful of opening yourself up and sharing your heart with the world. Besides, God wants us to love one another. Part of loving is sharing. So be love! And have some fun. No worries. I know you haven't fogotten about me.
Love you!!!! :)
Post a Comment