random thoughts for the day

i've always prided myself on not really caring what other people thought of me. yes, to some extent, i've always wanted people to like me, but when someone hasn't, i've cut my losses.
or so i thought. it turns out that i do actually care what other people think, so much so that i make life changing decisions based on those opinions. life changing decisions.

anyways-
last week i received the most amazing valentines day gift. it wasn't flowers, or candy, or a big card with hearts and "i love you" written inside. it wasn't a secret admirer, or a fancy dinner out. it was the ending to the most unhealthy friendship i've ever been involved in. for so long i'd wanted things to work out, and in one email conversation, it didn't. and i'm thankful for it. God knew it was exactly what i needed. He always does.

speaking of other things God knows, (at this point, i could list everything that's ever been known, or ever will be known, by anyone....) the other day, i spent the entire day by myself. it was amazing. i napped, emailed, studied, napped a little more. no interruptions, no distractions. but by the time it hit 6 or so, i was bored. there was no noise in the kitchen (my new room shares a wall with it) and i hadn't seen or heard from anyone all day.

as i sat comtemplating what to do next, God decided to step in. tom knocked on my door. he came in and chatted for a bit. after he left, evan knocked on my door. he came in and chatted for a bit and was shortly joined by hannah, tom, john and kieran. everyone grabbed some carpet and hung out. it was fun just to sit with everyone like that. at about 8 or so, i decided it was time for me to make a few phone calls. i excused myself, smiling as i left. When i came back 20 minutes later, everyone was gone. it was perfect. i had the time i needed with people, and was able to get to bed a little earlier than normal. His timing is so perfect. and i'm so thankful for it. so thankful that He knows me, my heart, my needs and my wants. most of the time i don't know what i want, but He always does. and i'm so, very thankful for that.

i have a new room, new roommate, and new private bathroom. becky, my new roomie is AMAZING. she makes me laugh so hard, i literally cry every time. she is an absolute joy. i look forward to getting to know her better. i am down in the end room now, which shares a wall with the kitchen. unfortunately it's the same wall that our beds our lined on. so we hear everything that happens in the kitchen. which can be fun.....but most of the time it's annoying. but it's worth it, because i now only share a bathroom with one person!! yes!! life is good.

this is me. all over the place, all the time. thanks for loving me despite that.