carrot and coriander soup

as i type this, i'm eating carrot and coriander soup, my new favorite soup. and i couldn't think of a good title for this blog, so there you have it.

Here are some pictures from my trip to London. I had a great time, minus the fact it was cold and rainy all day. Sara and I stayed under the covered part of the bus for the most part, but every now and then I jumped out to snap a few shots. It was surreal for me, to be sitting on a red double decker bus, passing by the Tower of London, Big Ben, and the London Eye. Things I've always wanted to see, but never dreamed it would actually happen. I was very blessed by Sara, her willingness to be a geeky tourist, and the Brubakers, who opened their home to us. London was a great experience, the underground, the people, the sights. I enjoyed every minute of it.

After coming back on Tuesday and straight into a 4 day camp, we were given a mini break. We had 5 days off. I spent those 5 days in Newcastle, with Danielle. She's originally from there, so we went and stayed at her moms house. We took a 3 hour bus ride, getting into Newcastle just before midnight on Friday, and came home Tuesday afternoon. Saturday we spent the day in Durham. Durham was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. It's a quiet place, with people just going on about their lives up and down the cobblestone streets. We visited the Durham Cathedral, the oldest cathedral in England. Unfortunately I couldn't take any pictures inside the cathedral. And words cannot express the beauty of that building. Every wall was covered in ornate detail from floor to ceiling. Stained glass windows stretched from side to side, illuminating the vast expanse of space with vibrant reds, blues and greens. Rows upon rows of pews lined the main sanctuary. As I sat praying in that glorious piece of the past, I realized how lucky I've been. So many people don't have the chance to worship in public, and yet here I was, in a massive stone cathedral, lifting up a pray for friends, family, strangers and life in general. It was a very real moment for me in my walk with God.

Even though I didn't get any shots from inside the cathedral, I did get some of the outside.

It's been a busy, and really good couple of weeks. We've got camp in this weekend, and then another one next weekend. So the busyness continues. Busy is good for me though. It keeps my mind of my homesickness. It keeps me focused on what I'm here for. It keeps me focused on Him, if you can believe that. Usually being busy distracts us from Him. But here, for me, I have to be busy to keep my sights on Him. Otherwise my desire to curl up in a ball and cry takes over. I miss home, and it's a really hard struggle. So being constantly moving keeps me going. That sounds so redundant, but it's true.

Anyways, with camp in, I won't be bloggin at all this weekend, but I'll try to be better about the updates. I've got my February update to get done this week, and I'll post it here as well as email it.

Thank you, for reading my blog. By doing so, you're hearing my heart. And it encourages me knowing that you're taking the time to do so. I love you all.

random thoughts for the day

i've always prided myself on not really caring what other people thought of me. yes, to some extent, i've always wanted people to like me, but when someone hasn't, i've cut my losses.
or so i thought. it turns out that i do actually care what other people think, so much so that i make life changing decisions based on those opinions. life changing decisions.

anyways-
last week i received the most amazing valentines day gift. it wasn't flowers, or candy, or a big card with hearts and "i love you" written inside. it wasn't a secret admirer, or a fancy dinner out. it was the ending to the most unhealthy friendship i've ever been involved in. for so long i'd wanted things to work out, and in one email conversation, it didn't. and i'm thankful for it. God knew it was exactly what i needed. He always does.

speaking of other things God knows, (at this point, i could list everything that's ever been known, or ever will be known, by anyone....) the other day, i spent the entire day by myself. it was amazing. i napped, emailed, studied, napped a little more. no interruptions, no distractions. but by the time it hit 6 or so, i was bored. there was no noise in the kitchen (my new room shares a wall with it) and i hadn't seen or heard from anyone all day.

as i sat comtemplating what to do next, God decided to step in. tom knocked on my door. he came in and chatted for a bit. after he left, evan knocked on my door. he came in and chatted for a bit and was shortly joined by hannah, tom, john and kieran. everyone grabbed some carpet and hung out. it was fun just to sit with everyone like that. at about 8 or so, i decided it was time for me to make a few phone calls. i excused myself, smiling as i left. When i came back 20 minutes later, everyone was gone. it was perfect. i had the time i needed with people, and was able to get to bed a little earlier than normal. His timing is so perfect. and i'm so thankful for it. so thankful that He knows me, my heart, my needs and my wants. most of the time i don't know what i want, but He always does. and i'm so, very thankful for that.

i have a new room, new roommate, and new private bathroom. becky, my new roomie is AMAZING. she makes me laugh so hard, i literally cry every time. she is an absolute joy. i look forward to getting to know her better. i am down in the end room now, which shares a wall with the kitchen. unfortunately it's the same wall that our beds our lined on. so we hear everything that happens in the kitchen. which can be fun.....but most of the time it's annoying. but it's worth it, because i now only share a bathroom with one person!! yes!! life is good.

this is me. all over the place, all the time. thanks for loving me despite that.

london calling

it's been a busy weekend, i'm in london till tuesday and then back in camp all week, and then off to newcastle on friday and then back in camp the following weekend.

it feels good to be busy.

anyways, i just wanted to apologize in advance for the lack of posts for the next couple of weeks. business means i'll hopefully be more tired at the end of the day, therefore sleeping earlier. i know, i may be getting ahead of myself here. sleep is apparently a luxury that my body doesn't seem to care much about.

i want you to know that i love you all, and am thinking about you constantly.

i promise i'll update as soon as i can.

hmm...

i'm trying to decide what exactly it is i feel right now.

some might say homesickness. others may say food poisoning. some may even blame the stomach pains i've been having on the amount of tea i've been drinking every day.

to be honest, i think it's a pretty gnarly combo of all three. add in the fact that i'm not sleeping well and i think we may have our answer. i've been sick to the stomach for 2 weeks straight now. i never feel better. sometimes i feel worse. but i always feel sick.

and i'm so over it. i don't want to feel like this anymore. so, i'm cutting out the caffiene. and i'll try to get more sleep. but since those are the only 2 i really have control over, i'm leaving the rest up to God.

and while we're on the topic, i am homesick. desperately homesick. i miss everything. and i'm having a hard time being joyful about being here. i know it's only been a month, and i've got way too long to be feeling like this. i know. i also know that i can't do this without Christ, or my family, friends and loved ones support. so if you take the time to read this blog, would you do me a favor and send up a quick prayer for me? not only that i would be freed from the homesick feelings, but also that i would find some joy here. some real, God focused joy. and maybe some peace about being here wouldn't be such a bad thing either. that way, i can look at the next 7 months as an adventure rather than a sentence.

thanks my loves. i really do love you all. please don't ever question that. don't ever doubt it. if there's one thing (and trust me, there've been plenty) that God is trying to teach me, it's not to take for granted those i love and that love me in return. because love is what makes the world turn. and without love, i am nothing.